I Feel Pretty, Oh So Pretty
by Working Mama on March 7, 2010
So, I finally worked up the nerve to pull back the band-aid…and low and behold, I did not find wispy clear stitches that you can barely see… No! Instead, I found BLACK Frankenstein stitches and a lot of them. Why in the world are they not clear?? The whole time I was under that sheet it was never mentioned that the stitches might be black! I thought if you are sewing up some one’s face you use the least obtrusive instrument necessary. Apparently, I was wrong… or I live in Tupelo, Mississippi were medicine is still stuck back in the ’80s somewhere.
I just need to go ahead and get a plastics on board- obviously, I’m going to need one down the road. And not necessarily for this incident, but for the ‘incident’ I like to call childbirth- the havoc wreaked on your body is uncalled for… isn’t it enough that we have to carry the child, birth it and then nurse it (literally and figuratively) until it’s grown. Shouldn’t we, at least, be allowed to leave the process with intact upright breasts? Or a nice, tight stomach? Other than the “joy” of childbirth…shouldn’t we get something??? No cellulite for the rest of our lives?
Yes, that’s it- we should be able to chose: after childbirth we either get: a) perfect breasts, b) flat, completely flat, tight stomach, c) no cellulite.
Which would you chose? But you only get one… and yes, it lasts forever.
8 comments
i want to add a category- no saddlebags. i would have 19 children if it meant no saddlebags.
by Minivan Mama on March 8, 2010 at 7:41 am. #
also, WHERE’S THE PICTURE? you cannot talk about Frankenstein stitches in your face and not post a picture.
by Minivan Mama on March 8, 2010 at 7:45 am. #
I can’t believe they gave you black stitches! How long do you have to have them in? Obviously, these doctors aren’t concerned with vanity!
by Suzanne on March 8, 2010 at 10:01 am. #
that is a seriously tough toss up between flat stomach and no cellulite. hmmmm.
by Lauren on March 8, 2010 at 10:40 am. #
Ugh, just one…flat stomach. If you saw how ‘out there’ I was carrying Baby H you would totally sympathize. I would wear long shorts for the rest of my life if it meant I could wear a snug top.
by Megan on March 8, 2010 at 3:07 pm. #
I’m going with perfect breasts. I have been lugging these milkjugs around my whole life just so I could nurse my baby. Now that I am done nursing I am ready to get rid of the extra baggage.
by Science Mama on March 9, 2010 at 11:57 am. #
Yeah, Science Mama- Me too. I feel like if I really cared enough I could get reasonably close to the other two, but nothing is saving me up top- plastic surgery would be my only hope.
by Working Mama on March 9, 2010 at 7:33 pm. #
[...] I was lying on the couch tonight playing with Lil’C. He’s gotten quite rambunctious lately- throwing, hitting, inadvertently biting. Quite frankly, I was scared the whole time I was playing with him because he is a total smiling assassin. One minute he’s laughing and smiling and the next you have a shoe in your face, or half your index finger in his mouth. I was trying to keep an eye on him through my fingers because basically I had my head covered the entire time out of fear. And then all of the sudden, with no warning, his open mouth comes down HARD on my forehead. Yes, the same forehead that was recently the subject of about 4 stitches. [...]
by Oh, My Aching Head: Part 2 | We Three Moms on March 24, 2010 at 8:15 pm. #